2280When we met for Izi’s SOTM photograph, she handed me a note with her story on it. “I could write even more,” she said.

Her story is quite complex, but here are the main points of her note, which I’ve edited down to the following story:

“I was pregnant with my first son and felt extremely unwell throughout. Gave birth to a lovely baby boy and the minute I saw him I wanted another one. Unfortunately eight months after giving birth I was still bleeding daily and felt exhausted and worn out. Went to several doctors who concluded that I was mildly depressed and needed a mild dose of anti depressants.

”I wished for a second child but wanted to feel well first. I went to a doctor and specifically asked whether anti depressants were safe during pregnancy in case I needed them. They told me this. I thought about that sentence over and over and convinced myself that my second pregnancy would be easier than the first.

”Got pregnant! Felt unwell. In the ninth week I felt extremely depressed. Visited the same doctor who then said: ‘I never said anti depressants are safe. There are always risks with medications during pregnancy.’ This episode made me even more depressed. My psychologist decided that even though risky, I should take them as he feared I would commit suicide.

”I eventually got worse, deep into severe depression. I was on the highest dose of anti depressants possible and on several tranquilisers. Just before the eight month two psychiatrists visited me and suggested electroconvulsive therapy.

”During the last 4 weeks of pregnancy I was taken to hospital at 6am every Saturday morning for treatment. Luckily this was performed under full anaesthetic.

”I gave birth to little Ali. It was a cesearean as I could not physically go through natural birth. A week after giving birth I was more depressed than ever. I couldn’t even look at little Ali. I was given another four sessions of ECT.

”Exactly 6 weeks after I gave birth to little Ali I literally sprinted out of bed and led a normal life since!! I am still on a mild dose of anti depressants and I thank God I went through this experience because I learnt how precious life is.

”I am lucky my son is healthy and that life gave me a second chance!” Taken in Swieqi, Malta on the SOTM World Tour.